Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

Father’s Day   1 comment

Still not in a good place emotionally to write.  But here was my fb status for Father’s Day.  

 

The other day there was this guy on the side of the road. He needed a ride so I stopped. He was wearing a rather beaten up Eagles sweatshirt and was in need of a haircut and a shave. His name was Bill. As soon as he got in the car I could smell the alcohol. It was barely 11 AM. I took him into town while he told me of his recent hardship and praised me for stopping. He was just a lonely, troubled guy in need of a ride. He reminded me of my father and that made me sad and happy at the same time. Sad because I miss my old man and I don’t like thinking of him doing something similar and happy because I love my old man and I like thinking that when he did something similar someone was kind enough to pull over and give him a lift. Happy Father’s Day, Papa Joe. Whatever road your traveling, whatever scene you’re trying to make, I wish you all the comforts and all the luck possible. I love you. And Happy Father’s Day to all of you other dads. Especially Bill. I hope you made it back home safely. Everyone deserves a way back home.

Posted June 15, 2014 by reclaimingtecla in Poetry

Covenant   Leave a comment

Not everything that breaks the skin
Is an affront to my senses
Some things are just more worth waiting for
While others are better left alone

From the jump
I lost my footing
And found myself spinning
Out of control and going under
There is always a rhythm
That escapes my knowing
And I flail as I fail

But I get up
And I try, try again

You’re like my “watched pot”
That I can’t seem to ever catch boiling
I feel like no matter how I trick time
It’s me that gets covered in
Lost anthems of relationships
And wasted moments of inner conflicts

Night terrors and static and the reincarnation of everything
I thought I laid to rest
Here again
Pressing me up hard against the glass
To be examined by the doctors of my failures
And the professors of my testaments
Battle weary Argonauts
And the wreckage left of sunken ships

Everything repeats
Only now I’m tired
And I’m less inclined to seek the Holy Grail
Now seeking out a new covenant

This is my gospel
According to me

Jen

Train   Leave a comment

Rivers follow down to this little stream in me
That cross divides
The beggar and the believer
Even though neither has felt sunlight
For as long as sunlight has been a thing

The ache in my head grows deep
And finds its way into my ears
The sound of everything
Comes passed a hissing and a rattle
And the doctors say it’s just another
Infection or irritation but I can’t help but wonder
Just what has crawled inside of me
And died
This time

I wanted to bury things that bothered me
I wanted to let go of the ones that have lived and died
I wished on stars and burned the images of a god
That never answered back
And here I am
Surrounded by voices and shadows and the crippled lover
Who promises she’ll never leave me
Unless that’s what I want from her

I can’t be the only one to see the sick side of humor
I can’t be the only one left understanding the joke
My life has become
Or was diagramed to be from the jump

But no one really comes and sits beside me and says
Hey girl I get it
And I won’t judge you if you cut and run
I’ve seen what you’re juggling and this shit is serious
And you need to go get yourself a bottle of pills, a razor, a gun

All I get is some talk about how shit gets easier
And how there are loved ones who need me
And then there is all this promise that somehow tomorrow is going to be
Something better than today and all the yesterdays combined
Like life is a fucked up version of a word problem from some 4th grade math class

Well, I never did follow along with those
I was too busy wondering which mother I was going home to or
Which father was going to pick me up that weekend or
What it might be like if the wrong neighborhood boy
Caught me in the cornfield
I’m sorry
I just never felt the need to daydream
So far in advance as to wonder about
That eastbound train heading out of Chicago
At 80mph
But maybe that would’ve been a better thing to focus on
All along
Because all this worrying
This shit hasn’t gotten me anywhere either
And I’m ready
I’m ready
To take that ride.

Jen

Time   Leave a comment

 

It appears

That I only know

The ways

Of

Shame or blame

And that for me to be

Greater than the sum

Of my misgivings

I need to learn something

New

Of how life can move forward

I am not sure

There is a way for me

Other than this

I feel trapped

And lost

And alone

I am trying

But I am failing

I am hoping

But I gave up on praying

And now all that I know

For sure

Is that time is both

My greatest enemy

And the only friend

That has the trusted ability

Of being there

In the end

jc

Honeysuckle   Leave a comment

The whole world opened up

And everywhere

The sun touched

Was brushed sweet

With the scent of honeysuckle

It took away the rage

Of a fitful night

And left a yearning for something

Of budding content

Pouring my soul

Over the crescent edge

Into the vast market place

Of a forgiving and calming sea

Of all your simplicity

The burgeoning trust of a wonder new

There is hope and resolve

Where only at the foot of the former moon

I found myself alone

In this bright mark of day

I find a reason to believe

Jen Czahur

Beckon   Leave a comment

 

Hold that razor

At the wrong end

Press it down

And try again

Can’t find the beginning

Can’t reach the end

Can’t find a measure by which

To factor in

The causes, the effects

The endless debate

The relentless passage

Of time

The hungry eagerness which calls out

In darkened corners that know

Just how to hush and subtle

Like the blush breeze of a fall morning

And the rush that accompanies first love

To whisper my name

And beckon me with sickening warmth

You are not alone

But the company keeping you

Is not your friend

Unravel (my Aquarian Mantra)   Leave a comment

Do not expect me to explain myself to you

To the point where you comprehend

My inner most revelations

You will not understand

You can only perhaps respect

The position I am currently taking

Because I have come to you from a place

Of integrity and personal conviction

My mind changes constantly

Much like my spirit ebbs and flows

As it processes the new and ever changing

Energies and environments it encounters

As it channels its way through the various highways

Forging forward towards each epicenter that I find

Challenging and rewarding

Until I have a firm and satisfactory understanding

Of just how and why I have been called into

The corners of the universe

Which choose to seek me out and unravel another mystery

Pushing me further into greater

And ever more brilliant domains

I am not here to press faith into the heart of your consciousness

I ride the wave of thought and dream

And I know only the limits of my own

Imposing trepidation

Of which there is none

Jen Czahur

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