Isolation   Leave a comment

I’m not trying to be funny, witty or even persuasive. I am tired and bothered by a lot of people lately. A good amount of these folks are my close friends, people I love and normally think rather highly of. But I am so overwhelmed by what I can only call their ignorance that I am starting to seriously contemplate a life of relative isolation, dealing with others in a strictly necessary context only.

I am not going to stop saying hello or thank you, but maybe anything much more than that will have to be harshly limited. I’ve already decided to forgo my Facebook socializing. I still look in on it, but only to catch major events. And I plan on withholding my responses to personal messages to eliminate public conversations. I am startled and annoyed by what some of my “friends” think is acceptable to say or express and I am getting a little concerned by my drastic lack of tolerance.

I think maybe that’s because I’ve always detested tolerance as a concept to begin with. I remember being in my ENG 101 class at Mercer Community College a decade or so ago and debating this very topic with my instructor. She was my friend outside of class, we had bonded hardcore and would spend hours sitting in her car after classes talking about our lives and creative ideas. I was very comfortable expressing me to her and that’s why when she started in with how wonderful tolerance was I had to stop her dead in her tracks.

I explained that tolerance wasn’t healthy, wasn’t positive. It was the idea that you disagree with something and just let it slide out of politeness. I didn’t want to be “tolerated” for being gay. I didn’t want to be “tolerated” for being different. If you thought I was wrong or that how I lived my life was somehow inferior, I wanted you to have the balls to tell me just that. Let me explain myself better, show you how our differences were not so startling and if at the end of my demonstration you still felt I was somehow wrong I would be able to say FUCK OFF and no longer bother with you.

Tolerance seems like pity to me. It also shows great weakness. I want to debate the issues. I want us to battle it out because life is too damn short to be unsure of your how your feel or what you think. Also, I have found that the best way to know your side of any issue is to argue the opposite side for awhile. It’s not until you learn how to defend your enemy that you learn how to defend yourself. And no one should be so attached to a point of view, whether it is political, religious, social, artistic or otherwise that they can’t jump ship and join the ranks of the opposition once a decent case has been made to do so.

This idea that faith and blind trust in something is some how a virtue, a sign of power and authority is utter bullshit. Such as in the case of Jesus, he heard the voice of God. He didn’t need to take anyone’s word for it. If God wants to start talking directly to me then and only then will I find reason to talk back. For now, I’ll treat the world around me and the spirit inside of me with love, respect and awe.

Most of what’s been said that has irratated me is about Jesus, to be perfectly honest with you. Jesus and what people consider evil or American. And it’s funny to me how all three vastly different topics have somehow merged in the minds of so many folks. They thank god for every thing. They talk about angels, heaven, miracles, prayer. It’s insanity at its finest. And they are so quick to hate on people who disagree with them that I can’t sit by and let it go any longer.

I was raised Catholic. And I have loved the church, the saints, the rituals and traditions. But being gay makes it hard and even though I’ve innovatively tap danced around the fact that if the church had its way I would be stoned to death for finding love at some point the Christian hypocrisy has made me realize that its all a pack of lies. Not just the anti gay part, but all of it. Because unlike so many other people, individuals that I know mean well, I find no sense in picking the parts out that I like and leaving the rest to wither.

I wonder if any one of these kind hearted fools knows that if they stood up for what they believed without tearing apart the teachings of the bible the lunatics who wants to bomb abortion clinics or pickets soldiers funerals would be less inclined to. Think of it this way: You read the bible and it says some crazy shit that you just won’t allow in your life. You disagree with it or think that that particular rule is ridiculous. So you say, “No, I will not follow that part. And since there are several parts that I have decided aren’t important or that are totally nuts I can’t really say that this book is the word of God and that I need to be faithful to it, so I won’t worry about the other rules in it. I’ll just think things through and make sound, fair, logical decisions on how to live my life.” So you stop talking about Jesus, Moses, the bible. You simply say that while it has some great lessons and that you have benefited from reading portions of it, it will not dictate how you live your life and therefore is not a powerful book that needs to be referenced.

You stop being Christian because you stop following the rules. You don’t claim to be Christian only to pick and choose what you want to listen to.

Think of all the people in your life who are well adjusted, decent, loving people who currently say that they are Christian. If all of those people left their churches, claimed only to love and be kind and committed to a life of decency and stopped pointing to the bible or Jesus there would be a DRASTIC decline in the amount of Christians. And this religion, like so many others over the course of time, would start to disappear.

And the nuts who want to rule the world would look like the deranged, cult-like freaks that they are.

The same goes for politics. Why call yourself a Republican simply because you like low taxes and small government? Do you also want to legislate people’s faith? Do you want to force one particular religion down the throats of every citizen? You’re ok with gay rights and religious freedom to the fullest, but you still call yourself a Republican? You do realize that there are other parties right? You can be a voice of reason and support a third party candidate. And if push comes to shove, you can support someone who you disagree with about the less important things but agree with the more important topics. And I would offer you this: Be for small government and low taxes, I can totally dig and get behind that. But if the only way you can have THAT person elected is to also vote for someone who wants to limit the basic human rights of another American citizen than shame on you.

I would respect you more for voting for the asinine Democrat who wants to raise taxes and expand bogus programs like a fool, but who understands that this country must support the separation of church and state and who must respect human rights rather than the opposite. Yes, both choices suck, but at least you’re picking the asshole who you just disagree with business models and not something as essential as how we treat our brothers and sisters.

Anyway, I’m not trying to go on and on too much about those two particular topics. Religion should be a private matter. And I wish it were. But everywhere I go people are throwing god around like a rag doll. I hate seeing someone post something on Facebook that basically says, “I had a great day today. I have good friends. I had fun. I learned so much. Things are looking up.” And then they need to add, “Thank GOD!”

Why? Can’t you just enjoy it? Can’t you just respect your hard work, your luck, your family and friends for the wonders that they are? Do you really need to extend every event and idea all the way passed the stars to a place you have never been and can’t even prove exists? I’m sick of it. And I want to enjoy your happiness, but all that I can think is that you don’t even deserve it because you are living in some kind of mystical fantasy land. I could burn your fucking house down and you would just say, “Thank God I am still alive!” Sure, sure, thank him. And when someone freaks out and does something wild and aimless like shoot up a fucking movie theater you can call him evil and say he’s going to hell and that God is good because we caught him and blah, blah, blah. You guys are getting so predictable. It’s annoying.

So I’m backing away. I hardly see anyone who says shit that isn’t like this. And the ones who do are so angry. And no, you don’t have to be angry because you’re non religious. You just have to come to a point of secularism because it’s what makes sense and not because you didn’t get your way so you want to spite god.

A friend of mine once heard a woman say something that truly affected her and I’d like to pass it on to you now,

“Make good decisions.”

Take care.


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