More than love   2 comments

First off, I’m not really sure what I think about being awake in the mornings. We’re slowly changing our schedules, not by choice mind you, but just because it has happened that way. So I woke up at 3:30 AM this morning and that’s about as close to normal as we’ve been in a long time. And I’m sure, without a lot of work and effort, it will shift further until we are back to being asleep all day long. I prefer it that way because I detest being asleep at night for reasons I won’t discuss now. But this is a hell of a lot more convenient. We shall see.

But what I stopped in to write is this: I don’t think love is this mystical thing anymore. I still don’t find it to make any sense, but it’s not because it’s so beautiful or powerful. It’s not about hearts. It’s not about spirituality or anything so ridiculous. I think really it’s simply about loyalty and a little bit of team work.

You commit.

That’s all.

And that can fail or taper off based on your effort, your dedication. It’s nothing more. It’s nothing less.

Everyone is beautiful in there own way. Some people I know, who I detest, are beautiful because they live despite the fact that they offer the world so little. And in that lacking there is something close to art; the fact that they just go on and on for no reason, that’s truly breathtaking.

But I’ve written so much about love and I meant it all at the time, still now I realize that there was more smoke and mirrors than anything of substance. And that’s not to say I don’t love or can’t know it when I see it. It’s just that I don’t revel in it anymore.

Ah, fuck. This sounds depressing or negative. And that’s not how I mean it.

I’ll get back and make it clear later on. Just know for now that I love everyone and I realize now that some people are simply worth a hell of a lot more than others. So love can’t be it.

There just needs to be more.

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2 responses to “More than love

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  1. yep, you get it!!!!

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