Grow   2 comments

I slid off my star
Rushed down on a bit of an incline
Jagged and with speeds
I never before encountered

I suppose
Along with the distance
And the scenery
I jetted through memories, goals, ideas

I suppose
Everything was sliced
Down the line
By my incredibly dangerous
And surprisingly swift
Poorly scheduled
Decline

But you never broke your stride

The way you have managed
All of your years
Independent and fearless

That does not suit me now
Just like it never quite
Suited me then

But you were the one
Picking out my clothes
Brushing my hair back
And encouraging me to smile

Even when dresses felt like prisons
Hairbrushes skillfully attacked like ancient weaponry
And smiles corrupted whatever was good in me

Like lies

The lead-based paint
Of my emotionally misspent youth

I have still managed to grow

Not tall and proud
Nor strong and determined

The trunk of this tree is diseased
And its roots cut deep
The weather attacking and me just not able to protect

But I grew in circumference
Touching communities far beyond
The shade my branches could provide

I’ve supplied fruit to children
That would find no shelter beneath me

I have been the Underground Railroad
For complex systems of rain water
Finding its way from meandering clouds
To complacent puddles
And then back again

Lending more than a mere hand
To the dynasty of intellectual landscapes
And never once being adorned
For any of the trivial, yet inspiring
Pageants, festivals or holy days

Because I am damaged in the traditions they study
And a goddess in ways they have never attempted
To recognize

They will not understand
The way I sing this song of praise to you

But I never sang for them at all
It has been you, my muse
My sweet, delicate promise
Of what faith could embody

That takes my hand
Settles my spirit
And offers me finally
A chance at peace

 

 

Jen Czahur

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2 responses to “Grow

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  1. I enjoyed reading this. Good job.

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