Now I Know   Leave a comment

You were the one
I had always leaned upon
I would talk and talk
Until my tears clouded the sign of anyone other
And I imagined you there
Listening, being patient with me
Letting me have my time to flesh it all out
I almost always felt you there

You were the one
That made me trust that life was not
A game that I could lose
Or a test that I might fail
You were a guiding light
A comforting hand leading me
And I imagined you there
Taking me, step by step
Through what I was sure I could never
Make it through alone

You were the one
They all threw in my face
Even though I had faith that you
Never saw it the way that they did
I imagined you
Loving me for who I was
For what you made me
For what was unique, what was precious
And I almost was complete
When I wrapped myself up
In what you allowed me

You were the one
Who made me feel like my dreams might be
Signs, visions, lessons
You were the one
Who ushered me through this existence
Keeping me safe, keeping me distant
Keeping me dependant
Keeping me numb

And I imagined that it was for the best
That I was better to believe
Than to think, than to know, than to grow

And I almost was complete
Until the day
I let the silly notion of you
Slip away
And now that I stand alone
I realize
Complete was never what you were going to make me
It was what you were keeping me from
Because I only almost always felt you there

And now I know
Now I know

Jen

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