Waiting   Leave a comment

I only have a few minutes. I’m waiting for my lovely girl to come back to our room where we will then make the most beautiful contribution to the energy that constitutes our relations. I will get lost in her eyes once more. She will say words and I will listen, but all that I will hear is the low, slow hum of her devotion rolling from her finger tips and dancing on the surface of my skin until it is absorbed and made one with the essence of who I am. I am sitting here, writing this, waiting.

I love this contract, this promise we have made each other. I remember the many girls of my past and even some of the boys and I smile, warm to think of them in their splendor. How we joined and lost ourselves, handed ourselves over to be apart of something greater than what frail and lonely little piece of puzzle we had determined ourselves to be. How we let rushes of passion, tenderness of compassion ring out like the distant cry of a stray in the foggy street lit shadows of a near morning. The approaching of dawn like the starting of our revelation process; we were dreamers nearing the ending of a dream and still we found no answers. We were questions, growing bold in the night only to lose our wonder in the coming of the sun as it filtered and floated and found hiding places just below the surface of our ever expanding minds. Full of fears and fed the promises of a future that would not fail us so long as we never believed failure was an option.

I enjoy the waiting now. I take comfort and find a bolt of pure lightening, setting its way down the path from storm cloud to the frantic beatings of my heart. I am writing and that has now become my drug of choice once more. I am writing, waiting on the girl who loves me and that is better than ever waiting on the girl who has left or who has changed or who has denied to ever even have existed.

She is in the next room and I am free to leave this corner of the universe and check on her. She would welcome me where ever she is. I could track her down and hold her tight to me as if to say, “Where have you been? Why have you been gone so long?”

Merely for her sweet reply to puddle and evaporate, turn into cloud and rain all day down on my soul. Only for me to never hear a word over the drumming in my veins that prevails whenever she is only inches away.

I am writing this to mark just how blissful, even while waiting, having finally found the girl worth waiting for has turned each moment into a blessing. With my heart on fire and my dreams floating away in the rain waters of this storm, I see my future and I know failure is not an option; not because I don’t believe it in it, but because I have no need for it.

I have settled here, in the arms of this constant reminder. I am loved. And even I trust that I deserve it.

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