Declaring War on the Enemy   2 comments

Time is vicious. She wraps around me and sucks me through areas I should never truly venture. But I go and try to learn.

Time has always been my greatest enemy.

Never enough, too much, which ever, however, it never mattered. It was always time, bending my ear and tempting me full of hope when what I should do is run away or filling me with fear or indifference when what I should try for was courage and action. I have wasted so much of my life, just trying to never shake hands with time. And here I am, at its doorstep, begging for minutes, wishing for memories to never fade so that they may take up space and fill the void of what this “present” offers. I tell you, it feels as though it offers nothing.

God speaks to me in dreams. Of this I am now sure.

He walks with me and points out the beauty in all women and the strength in all men so that I might feel as though there is purpose, a sense of reason. But all of it, all of his pointing and showing, all it really does is remind me that I am neither the beautiful woman nor the strong man. I am the intellect that floats above the daydreams and imaginations of these children of God while they sleep, while they play, while they wonder in amazement or satisfaction. I am not a person. I am an element, a state, a muse for my own investment. I speak for no one, I speak for us all.

I feel so lost.

But how can someone such as me be lost? Am I not from the east, the west, the south and from the heavens of the north? Do I not belong, if even for a moment in the grand scheme of all things, both time and testament? I find the feeling rather strange and yet completely undeniable.

Time is both a whore and a cruel master. Time needs to be forgiven for offering itself the opportunity for each sin we’ve committed. Yes, I believe it is time that is the true devil.

If each person had but a chance to merely be left to the sketch pad of God, characters in theory and bits of information jotted down for further planning. Oh, the possibilities, the ability to be larger than life and greater than time.

And to have never spoiled in the dance of life, to be rich and firm and beyond the powers of age and passage; yes, so much we would have sacrificed, but oh so very much indeed we need not have suffered.

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2 responses to “Declaring War on the Enemy

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  1. Hello Trinzic,
    🙂
    Interesting blog. You do have some fine writings.
    Times are sacramental moments we occupy.
    Spirituality can be experienced in many different forms and dimensions. It is a personal, not a communal experience. Communal gathering could not necessarily result in collective consciousness.
    Certain emotional experiences can be strong enough to defeat reason and common sense.
    Yes, Nietzsche advocate the subjugation of the “common” masses, in the interest of promoting sophisticated “high-cultural” achievements by the ruling elite.
    Hence “they did it with slaves”.
    Yes, Greeks did it with slaves.
    And was it worth the suffering?
    I heard one time on a radio documentary that the average North American male spends only seventeen minutes a day with his children, while the rain forest tribes have fathers and sons inseparable from early childhood onward.

    • Thank you so much for your response. Not often do people take the time to share something in return and it does mean a lot to me. Yes, time is a radical. It comes in all forms, sometimes delusion, hesitation, motivation, obstacle. Spending time with the right people can foster both good examples and a closeness that makes one feel dependant. Spending time with the wrong people can both hurt us as well as teach us a valuable lesson. Its relative, it’s perpetual. I often find myself wrestling with time. Instead of spending it, I examine it. Instead of living, I observe. But, for all of the pitfalls associated with handling time in such a manner, it does lend itself to some wonderful revelations and aids my writing.

      I hope you come back again. I would enjoy your future comments. And I hope to read your writings as well.

      Again, thank you.

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