Feelings are like stars   3 comments

I’m posting something I wrote a special lady about a year ago.  She’s someone from my past, but I still care about her a lot.  I always will.  We had not spoken in years and then, through the virtue of our modern social networking, we crossed paths and starting having late night phone calls that would last for hours on end.  Since then, we’ve trailed off again.  I believe she’s hitting up the church with a fervor and dating some gentleman which couldn’t make me happier.  I love her, but not in a possessive way, if you can even call that love.  I love her and want her to feel special and beautiful, desired and supported emotionally.  But when I read what I had written her I felt a tug that was strange and unfamiliar.

Right now, my own girlfriend and I are going through some growing pains.  We love each other immensely and I trust her with all my heart, but some of the every day things between us just aren’t gelling and I’m worried we might not find enough common ground to stay happy, to grow and challenge each other, but instead drive each other nuts.  I want to work on it.  I hope she finds the way to work on it without feeling unloved or dejected.  I know I come on strong and she is really sensitive, but she needs to know that I still feel for her what I felt for her when we first started this wild ride.

Regardless, I am going to post what I wrote my friend.  For no other reason than to remind myself that I am that passionate person who can use words to make love and not always tear someone down.  I hope my girlfriend stops by and sees this.  I won’t tell her to, I just hope she does.  And I pray she understands that this is my plea to myself to find the common language between us both so that she wakes up every day and goes to bed every night never doubting that she is the one I want to be with, I just want so much more for us both.

Feelings are like stars.  They are always there, we just shift our perception, change the angle at which we study the sky of our human relations.  It is not a weakness nor a fault to realign.  It’s necessary to see all the night sky and redesign the mammoth possibilities of our existence.

It’s Dark Outside

Something to do with it being two in the morning…I need to be sleeping, but there is a lot going on in my head that keeps me up and about…got used to hearing your voice in the darkness, even sold out and scratchy from too much talking, too long working, a voicemail that finds me to tell me where you’ve been and what you’ve been thru…some letters on a small screen to say you’re in bed…well, that is where I would like to imagine you…but maybe not so far away

…still…

I can’t help but be grateful that somehow…with all the time and miles that have fallen down between us, the stuff that usually pushes two people further away….somehow…I know…that no matter where you are or where I am, a part of you and I will certainly always be together…because somewhere in my heart I know that you are the only person that has ever tripped around inside my head the way you do…and that speaks volumes and sings out loud no matter who is listening…

I don’t fall fast…I just never stop falling…and that is what sets me apart…what colors me a different shade from what you and all the other people out there seem to be used to…you have nothing to worry about from me…or for me…

I’m a poet who speaks in long, drawn out essay like madness and my mind is deep and bubbles up and over everything you have the ability to see…it loves to find you in those quiet places where no one has ever dared or bothered to follow you before…because your true beauty is not simply your heart, your mind, your body or your faith in what matters, but the magical, blissfully elegant and sometimes…while in no way disappointing, but still possibly chaotic way, all these pieces mingle and reform to create the wonderful and vibrant woman that you are…

I have so missed you, dear friend.  you can travel a million miles and meet ten thousand different people, but trust me, the light you have brought into my life…from the first time you smiled in my general direction…to the first time you walked away from me in frustration…to the first time you laid yourself down before me…up and thru and over and beyond the years and journeys we have taken separately in the hopes of finding someone or completing something…from that first moment till this very moment…

I have loved you.

And I am quite sure…

This poet will forever find you…

Worth writing too…writing about…

And maybe…if time plays a little fairer than she has in the past…

One day…

We will write something bold together…

Where words fail the likes of us…there is only the realm of passion and promise in which to believe.

But regardless of where the day takes us…

It’s dark outside…

And I miss the sound of your voice.

Trinzic

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3 responses to “Feelings are like stars

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  1. Honestly, when i read this poem it almost brought me to tears. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been with my boyfriend for eight years and it hasn’t been easy. We spent half of our eight years apart because he lost his job and couldn’t afford to stay in CA so he moved back to FL with his family. Besides, the long distance relationship being a total bitch, there’s was the whole issue with work. He couldn’t find a job and he got so depressed that I didn’t recognize him anymore. I told him if he didn’t a job by the end of the year (this was two years ago, mind you) I would break up with him. I love him, but I refuse to carry him. That was his wake up call because before I knew it he found a job and started saving up until he was finally able to move back to CA. He just moved back a couple of weeks ago and I’ve never been so happy. From your poem, I can tell you put a lot of heart and soul in it and your girlfriend should read this. She needs to know how much you love her. I mean, sure there are plenty of women out there… but you only get one love of your life.

    • Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for your reply. Not only is a response good for the soul, but your thought and advice mean so much. Sincerely. And I hope you continue on the good road you seem on with your guy being back. 🙂

  2. Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.

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